A thought

Here's a thought.....


To have the one you love most?

or


to have the one who loves you most?

What do you think?

Reality

I know im not suppose to be blogging...but this is the only place i can actually let go my thoughts....didnt want to trouble anyone with my problems since everyone is busy with their own life. My mum shocked me with some bad news yesterday. She has not been feeling well this few days so she finally decides to take a MRI. Her results came out and turns out she had three problems. She had gall stones, hernia and a growth! She's always joked and said she sees so many cancer patients evryday she's not surprise if she dies of cancer one day! SO NOT FUNNY! My mum dedicated her life to work with terminal stage cancer patients. She could have been a doctor but she chose to be a nurse...a palliative care nurse. i really pray that the growth is not malignant. My mum on the other hand seems to be in a good spirit bout it. I seriously think its just an upfront. My dad has not been well himself. He had a bronchitis episode.Coughing non stop. N suddenly he really starts taking care of his diet (which is good lah) but its like as though he is hiding something from me. IM JUST TERRIFIED! i have nightmares of losing them....

all i can do is to pray.....

Pls dear Lord let them be okay.....PLS

Laziness

Im back in Ipoh for a three week study break. Its already Thursday and i cant even finish one lecture note a day!! i seem to associate HOME = LAZING AROUND. Yet, i choose to come home instead of staying back in KL. WHY? i get to eat mum's cooking and i dont have to do my own laundry! lol. I really need to snap out of resting mode and turn on the studying mode! SIX WEEKS of prison! sigh...

All the best my fellow batchmates!

We must strive to pass this horrible semester!

im going to try to abstain from blogging till after finals! YEAH RITE!
will update on my Langkawi holiday soon!

P/S: swee leen, study hard K? we shall have tea to go crazy a bit after my finals! HUGS!

Farewell...

We had our last lecture with Mr. Jony and Miss Shruti today, our dispensing and compounding lecturers. Both Mr. Jony and MIss Shruti will be leaving UCSI after this semester. :(.

Eventhough they were strict on us especially when it comes to labs, we will all definitely miss them.

Thank YOU for your guidance and patience! and ur generosity with awarding us with ZERO marks! haha joking!

May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand. ~Irish Blessing

P/S: let us pass dispensing and compounding as a farewell gift?? hehe

Gathering of the Generations

Phew! Mid terms are finally over with a not so happy ending. I finally can blog guilt free FOR TODAY. haha it'll soon be time to gear up for FINALS! less than a month away!so..

Last Saturday, 5 generations of Monteiros gathered in my aunt Kate's beautiful home for a reunion. yes FIVE generations! i think im in the 4th generation.

Thats our family tree... haha try to spot me!

I honestly had no idea i had so many relatives...some ive never seen in my life. My great grandparents John Bernard Monteiro and Cecilia de Rozario had 9 children. The 9 children had children and the children had children..haha u get what i mean la rite...It took a whole year of planning for this day and i played no part in the planning. haha! Relatives from as far as australia came back for this occassion. I was surprised to find out that i had relatives from Penang. they even had to charter a BUS to kl!

there was so many of us that ......we had to wear name tags....

we watched slide show prepared by my uncle Alvin Monteiro ( i jus love making fun of u!)

while we dine on our scrumptious dinner prepared by cousins. again i played no part in it! i would have helped if i had no class on a SATURDAY! :P

I LOVE SHEPHERD's PIE!!!

we sang and we danced.

but the most memorable part of the event was when we held on to balloons n thought of our loved ones who were already in heaven...n let go of our balloonsi thought of my grandpa....i miss him dearly and how he would play 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' with his harmonica. how he would sing to me playing horribly on the organ ' Burung Kakak tua' when i was young. Sigh.

But honestly i did not get to know anyone new....my mistake for not mixing around n getting to know ppl. i promise to get to know my other cousins next time?? hehe...instead i stuck to my comfort zone! my cousins!

Fav ppl missing from the scene: Christiana and Richard! COME BACK! miss you guys loads!

Indeed a memorable day. I hope this wont be last but the beginning of a new chapter!

Happy Birthdays!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY october babies!!!!!

Cindy Kalensang, 12th October

Miss Tan Jing Rou, 13th october

Last but not least, a dear friend from National Service, Zul (14th October)...

'Wishing you all the best in the year to come. May your days be filled with sunshine and beautiful colors. And may your nights be filled with comforting dreams and wishes to come. '

Happy Birthday....

Hugs n Kisses

XOXO

Raya Holiday

First Day of Raya

Evry year without fail on the first day of raya , i will go tofor Dana's open house. Its great that this is the only time we all get together over delicious yummy homecook food by Dana's mum. Since we all have different semester breaks, raya is the time where we get to meet up and catch up on each others lives though the numbers are getting fewer by the years.lol. The lemang, ketupat, rendang, fish curry and sambal petai makes me drool jus thinking bout it! haha!

The loyal anf faithful ones...haha with the lovely host, miss dana dressed in purple

high on food. manda n me.

Second Day of Raya

Normally i would balik kampung to simpang pulai to visit my cousins akmal and azam on the first day of raya. This year we went on the second day cos daddy had to work.

Dad, the driver :)

me and sis,kim being very melayu...haha

kim, akmal and me

the little nephew and nieces

Brewsters

We (the family) had dinner at Brewsters on thurs. I enjoyed the food there when i went there with nicky the first time. A bit pricey but worth it because the portion size is HUGE.

Ethan's Full Moon

ONE MONTH OLD! so fast! im getting old :(

My whole holiday is practically spent on eating. GAWD. Thank god for friends like nicky who drags me out of the house to go out for a jog in the pologround cause he claims he put on weight. SHEESH!

n....guilty as charged. i did not TOUCH MY BOOKS!

Trapped in the past

Gloomy rainy day to return back to KL. Totally not helping. This is going to be a rather emo post..i might even regret posting it up. Ive been doing some 'soul searching' or so i think so. A friend of mine whom i havent seen in a long time told me i have changed a lot. I lack self confidence. Im not quite the outspoken person i used to be compared to when i was in high school. I was quite taken aback actually. but to a certain extent, she was right.

Maybe cause back in high school i always have a big group of friends to fall back on. Maybe at that time i really didnt give a damn what ppl thought about me. Being a patrol leader in girl guides in school n being active in the choral speaking team maybe gave me the confidence to be outspoken.

Then as time passes, the big group of friends becomes a small group of friends as we head different paths in life and then its left to a number u can count with your fingers. Then u start liking guys, well in my case a certain guy. U start obsessing with the way u look and keep on changing the way u look just to get him to even give u a second look. Suddenly what evryone thought bout u mattered.

'Omg u're so fat lah'
'is that a huge zit on ur face'
'gosh, if u get rid of ur acne u might actually look pretty'
'Come on, be realistic lah, no guy would accept u the way u r'
'if you lose some weight, u will look pretty'

bla bla...there goes the self esteem down the drain....
all the pleasing, doing evrything for a guy but it goes unnoticed,
rejection, drama, n still putting hope on something that'll never happen...turns u bitter as u chant to yourself...being single is COOL!

In uni, being already low in self confidence, i gave up trying to fit in. Afterall, its not the quantity but the quality rite?

when i meet up with some old friends, the past is the only common topic i have with them. i'll be quiet otherwise. i dont know why. i hate being like this!


Way Back into Love
I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on.


i need to move on.....................

Selamat Hari Raya

Wishing all my muslim friends,

Selamat Hari Raya

Maaf Zahir Batin..

really sorry i wont be able to update much, silly me i forgot to bring back my laptop charger! lol!
n plus Raya is the time to stuff my face with food with all the open houses...till im sick of lemang n ketupat! haha...n of course the duit raya! more please!

will be going back to simpang pulai (kampung) to visit my cousins tmr morning!
yes i told u im from a rojak family... i get the priviledge of celebrating evry festival in malaysia!
Loving the holidays!